Leadership Enthusiast turned 4 this month! This one snuck up on me. Time has a funny way of doing that, doesn’t it? One minute you are nervously launching a new business and the next you are sitting at your desk realizing FOUR WHOLE YEARS have flown by. I’m feeling all the feels – gratitude, pride, and a big dose of reflectiveness.

Many of you might already know that one of my greatest loves is 80’s movies. So it might not surprise you that as I reflected on these last four years, the great philosopher, Ferris Bueller, immediately popped into my head. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” That really hits home today, so I took Ferris’ advice. I stopped and looked around.

I thought about the teams I have worked with. The leaders I have coached. All of the training workshops I have facilitated.  I smiled and let out a big, contented sigh. What have I learned? What patterns have I noticed that might be useful for others? What feels worth sharing as a way to memorialize this four-year milestone? I chuckled to myself as the criteria for such a list became instantly clear: whatever I share needs to be timeless, relevant, universal, and poignant – just like the themes found in every great John Hughes film. He is one of the GOATs for a reason!

Thinking about all my teaching and coaching experiences, one single theme kept coming up. It falls into my “evergreen leadership challenge” category because it’s always persistent and never seems to dull in color despite the season. This particular evergreen challenge reminds me of the ocean currents at my favorite local beach – unseen but incredibly strong. Their impact and force run underneath nearly every leadership or team struggle, quickly taking leaders and team members off course before they even realize it. Chronic pain is also a feature of this phenomenon. The pain of misalignment, mistrust, miscommunication. A most unfortunate trio of “misses”.  

Picture me climbing on a great big soapbox about now with a loud microphone because this evergreen challenge is near and dear to my heart. We are about to make those pesky unseen currents more visible. You ready? This might be the single greatest tool in your leadership toolbox…

Just Because You Think It, Doesn't Make It True

Or put another way, don’t treat assumptions as facts.

Most of us tend to make assumptions in two ways. First, assumptions about ourselves, hello inner critic! And second, assumptions about what others are thinking and feeling. What is endlessly fascinating to me is how quickly we do this. It takes almost no energy. You can thank our beautiful brains and their craving for certainty. We’ll create stories about why people are doing certain things and never bother to ask them because we already have a “complete “picture. Those stories become facts, and those facts guide our behavior and decisions. Outside of that trio of unfortunate misses (hey, maybe a good name for a band?), it is a recipe for limited options, poor decisions, and avoidable misery.

Assumption Type #1: Stories We Tell About Others

Let’s bring John Hughes back to this conversation. He was a brilliant storyteller, especially around the impact our stories about others have on people. The Breakfast Club is a perfect example. We see each character reveal and explore the untested assumptions they accepted about each other: the Brain, the Basketcase, the Jock, the Princess, and the Criminal. Those labels – assumptions about who they were – limited their ability to connect until they started to question them. How often do we do a version of this at work?

"My boss didn't respond to my email, so she must be unhappy with my work."

"He didn't contribute in the meeting, so he must not care about this project."

"The team is resisting because they're lazy or don't understand the vision."

What’s worse is that these assumptions about others can be quite dangerous because they often trigger defensive behavior from us. None of us show up as the type of leader we want to be when playing defense.  

Assumption Type #2: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

"Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded." -Buddha

Sometimes the most relentless storyteller is that inner critic that lives rent-free in our heads. A voice that is constantly making assumptions about our worth, our capabilities, and how we "should" be.

Ah, that dreaded word…"should". Perhaps the most dangerous word in a leader's vocabulary. "I should be more decisive." "I should have known better." "I shouldn't need help with this." I suspect many of us might be able to fill pages with our “shoulds”. I often joke that when we do this we are essentially "should-ing” all over ourselves, and you don’t need me to tell you what a mess that makes!  

The inner critic is particularly sneaky because it speaks with such authority. It doesn't present its judgments as possibilities to be examined – it delivers them as absolute truths. "You're not strategic enough." "People don't respect you." "You're going to fail." And we believe it!

The Assumption Antidote: Always Be Validating

So, what is the solution to these assumption traps? Years ago, I was lucky to work with an amazing artist and human, Sam Didier. Sammy would always say, ABC – Always Be Creating! I loved that phrase, and it inspired a simple mantra that I use with my clients today: ABV – Always Be Validating.

ABV means taking a pause and stepping outside our own narratives to check if what we are assuming is actually true. Here's what it looks like:

1. Pause – Catch yourself in the act. Notice when you're treating an assumption as fact. This awareness alone is powerful. Pay attention to phrases in your mind like "obviously," "clearly," or "should" – these are often red flags for unvalidated assumptions.

2. Get curious – Instead of acting on your assumption, get curious about it. Ask yourself: "What evidence do I actually have for this belief? How do I know that this is explicitly true?” This is especially helpful when testing the stories we tell ourselves.

3. Ask! –There is never enough dialogue when it comes to testing or validating assumptions.  Simple questions like "I noticed you seemed quiet in the meeting – I'm curious about your thoughts on the project" can prevent a world of misunderstanding. Asking is also particularly helpful to validate assumptions around language or words used. For example, one of your employees says that they had a “challenging meeting” yesterday. Instead of using your own definition of “challenging”, this is the place to pause, get curious, and ask. Something like: “Hey, you used the word ‘challenging’ earlier when talking about yesterday’s meeting. How are you defining that word in this case?” Boom! Now you are dealing with facts.

4. Enlist allies – Share your thinking with trusted colleagues who can help you test those assumptions (about yourself or others) you might be making.

The ABV Payoff

The impact of shifting from assumptions to validation is profound. I've seen teams transform their effectiveness when they start testing assumptions rather than acting on them. Communication becomes clearer. Trust deepens. Innovation flourishes because people aren't constrained by false limitations. One specific example come to mind…

A leadership team I am currently working with recently added “test assumptions” as a critical part of their ground rules when working together. They are testing assumptions about words and language or about what that raised eyebrow meant during this morning’s stand-up. The amount of time and energy it is starting to save them is remarkable – problems get solved faster, relationships are strengthening, and best of all, they are minimizing those painful cycles of miscommunication. Swoosh! Score another point for ABV!

As I look ahead to year five of Leadership Enthusiast, I'm carrying this lesson with me – assumptions checked, curiosity engaged, and validation always in progress. To my current clients, thank you for the privilege of supporting your growth. To those I haven't yet met, I'd love to explore how ABV might help transform your leadership journey.

And what about you, dear leader? Time for your own strategic pause and reflection. Where might you benefit from questioning an assumption that's been guiding your actions? What might be possible if you applied a little ABV to your leadership practice?

Greetings Leadership Enthusiasts! For the past several months I’ve been in re-thinking mode about something near and dear to my heart: 360s. They are such a great mechanism for leader development, and for the longest time I held some strong beliefs about how they should be done. Those beliefs have shifted recently so I thought it would be fun to share what led to the shift.

But first, I want to give a shout out to the movie Conclave (you can currently find it on Peacock) which is about the election of a new Pope. I strongly recommend if you haven’t seen it yet. Ralph Fiennes is awesome, and Stanley Tucci always makes everything better. There was a quote in the film that I haven’t stopped thinking about:

Certainty is the great enemy of unity. Certainty is the deadly enemy of tolerance.

There is an obvious (and very good) political message here, but that is a musing for another time. Instead, the leadership coach in me immediately started creating a list of questions. What things have I been certain about and how has that certainty impacted me? How does my certainty show up at work? How does being certain about particular things serve me? What might it be costing me?

This is what happens when you become an executive coach - always looking for ways to expand your awareness and forever chasing a new insight or different way of seeing. It’s a nice addiction, like watching Schitt’s Creek, and I can’t get enough of it.

This newfound craving of mine matters because that which we cannot see in ourselves drives us, and we can’t change what we cannot see. Thank you, Carl Jung! Improved visibility and clarity always offers more choices, not to mention deeply powerful growth and sustained change. This is the primary reason why I, and coaches all over the world, get hired. Companies and leaders want (sometimes need) help to SEE themselves and their environment more clearly. Which brings us to one of my favorite tools for leaders, or really anyone, to expand their line of sight: 360 feedback.

Is this the first time someone has made an attempt to connect an idea from the film Conclave to 360’s? Quite possibly. Will I earn a few creativity points for the effort? Perhaps the jury is still out, or should I say the conclave is still…conclaving?

Was that an audible groan I just heard? Was it due to my terrible pun or how you might feel about 360’s? Either way, I get it. Both could be cause for concern. However, for the moment, let’s focus on the 360 process because I have a fresh perspective about them mainly due to relaxing my grip on certainty.

Allow me to set the stage…

360’s are a marvelous feedback tool because they help improve visibility, especially as it relates to how your behavior impacts others. It’s super useful to get good data from multiple sources so that we can calibrate and develop plans to act on the feedback. I’ve seen many leaders successfully adapt and alter their style because of the feedback received.

Unfortunately, despite the best of intentions, sometimes 360’s don’t land the way we want them to. The pattern I’ve observed goes something like this: anonymous feedback is collected and compiled into a (sometimes very lengthy) report. While reviewing the report, leaders try and decode cryptic comments or worse, guess and make assumptions of who said what. This creates unhealthy distraction and then to top it off, our human negativity bias kicks in.

Oh, the dreaded negativity bias! An unfortunate feature (or bug?) of our humanness. That darned tendency to register negative stimuli more readily than forms of praise or positivity. It is one of the things that makes giving and receiving feedback hard for all of us, and this especially holds true with an anonymous 360. Too often, I have watched leaders spend weeks obsessing over those few critical comments despite an ocean of positive feedback in front of them.

I often found myself wondering…what could I do differently? How could I shift that feedback experience in a way that accounts for our natural negativity bias? I started looking around for solutions.

Cut to the book, Feedback Reimagined by Pete Berringer & Jen Ostrich. In it, they make a case for how we might share feedback differently - leveraging key learnings from the fields of positive psychology, the importance of social support, a focus on strengths, and appreciative inquiry. It looks like this:

As thrilling as it was to consider a different way to facilitate 360s, in no time I started bumping up against two deeply held certainties:

1. A non-anonymous 360? Absolutely not! No one is going to get meaty feedback without the protection of anonymity. 360s must be anonymous so that others feel safe providing feedback.

2. 360s must capture the STOP items – after all, the person needs to know the behaviors or modes of operating that are not working for their team/organization in order to correct them.

But then I started asking myself those certainty questions. I quickly realized that the cost of my certainty was a narrow field of view of how feedback can help people and teams. Slowly, I started to allow for the possibility that the best leadership development happens via connection and creating dialogue. 360s are best when they can build bridges of communication. Keeping feedback anonymous makes building those bridges more challenging. Excited, I dug in further and decided to get certified in the Shift Positive 360  method. Soon my mind was buzzing with possibilities and fresh perspectives. Here are a few of my favorites:  

• No more guessing. When asking about a person’s strengths (vs weaknesses) and what they could be doing to amplify their effectiveness, knowing who said what and the context it came from gives a leader a precise roadmap of actions to take. The speed of improvement gets faster.   

• A “team of leaders” and a “leadership team” are two very different things. I think most organizations require more of the latter. I started to imagine the benefits of facilitating an open 360 process with an entire team. Results could be more openness and sharing of strengths. More collective learning. More communication and understanding. Less assumptions, more facts. Teams everywhere could benefit!

• Inviting social support by asking 360 raters, “What’s one thing – one commitment – you can make to support this person in their success?” can facilitate the creation of strong allies instead of just better stakeholder management. Give me the choice of having an ally or stakeholder at work and I’ll choose ally every time.

Lots of great learnings here, but I suppose the main point of this musing is really an invitation. I invite you to take a moment and check your own certainties. In the context of 360s, are you holding onto assumptions about how feedback must be given? Could there be a better way?

Or what about other certainties related to your work or team? Any ideas or modes of operating worth pressure testing? Where might relaxing your grip on certainty make space for new ideas and fresh thinking? Remember, just as certainty can be the enemy of unity, it can also be the enemy of growth and innovation in how we develop as leaders.

P.S. There is an obvious elephant in the room that should be acknowledged: non-anonymous feedback isn't right for every organization. There is a baseline of trust and psychological safety required for any 360 process to work, let alone the Shift Positive method. Don’t jump headfirst without assessing your environment to determine what would work best.   

P.P.S. Interested in learning more about the Shift Positive 360 method? Please reach out! I’d love to chat and kick around ideas for what it could look like for you.

Last month I had dinner with a dear friend. He is an Art Director and was sharing some of the challenges he and his team were feeling. His company has embraced the benefits of remote work, and he spends more time with his team in Zoom-land rather than in person. Zoom-land is that magical place that allows us to stay barefoot all day while working. A place of small boxes, fuzzy backgrounds, and 2D faces. It has given many of us so much. More quality time with our families. Happier pets who peacefully slumber at our feet all day. Weekends where we no longer do loads of laundry because we can easily do it on our way to the kitchen to make a sandwich. Yes, I realize that is a very specific example, but honestly a weekend without laundry is seriously wonderful!

Like most things though, Zoom-land has a dark side. We experience intense fatigue, especially when we run the back-to-back meeting gauntlet without breaks and then rinse and repeat that pattern over weeks or months. We get annoyed when WiFi is spotty which always seems to happen at the most inopportune times. And perhaps worst of all, Zoom-land makes it very easy to tune out others. My friend was sharing how hard it was to stay connected and truly present with everyone in a Zoom-land crowded with deadlines and demands. I admired his awareness about the power of presence, and how the absence of it was starting to affect him and his team.

So let me ask you…when was the last time you felt truly seen and heard by someone at work? Or outside of work for that matter? What impact did that have on you?

I bet it was significant and made a positive difference for you. I bet you experienced the extraordinary sensation that you AND your ideas, thoughts, feelings really mattered to someone else. How powerful and addictive (in the nicest of ways) it is to feel like that.

It is a gift worth giving.

Tis the season my dear leaders! One of the best gifts you can give to your employees, co-workers, customers, not to mention your kids, your partner, friends, and yourself this holiday season (and really always) is your presence.

Being truly present for another person is the rare gift of undivided attention. It is the difference between hearing and listening, between acknowledging and deeply understanding. It is when we show up in such a way that others feel the weight of their words landing somewhere real and somewhere that matters. The space that gets created is powerful, like a force field or gravity, pulling people towards real learning and connection.

What’s more, the choice to be fully present for the people you work with makes dramatic improvements to engagement and commitment. Not to mention deeper levels of trust and respect, people feeling valued, added risk-taking, and more insights that lead to thoughtful action. Who doesn’t want more of that? Or better said, who doesn’t need more of that? 

The good news is that you can give this gift to someone else pretty easily. Yes, there is some skill involved but it is also a choice. And this is the place you begin. You consciously choose.

Making that choice is important because it is often an unconscious choice to not be present. Our autopilot is doing the driving, and this is where learning stops. Specifically, I mean that our own learning as leaders stops. We become “absent” distracted by that Slack message, a text, or putting out the latest fire. We miss patterns or insights that could prove valuable. More worrisome is that over time, this type of prolonged “absence” lives next door to Ignoring and this is a dangerous neighborhood to be in as a leader. It reminds me of the work from Tom Rath and his book, “Are You Fully Charged.” What leads to the most disengaged employees? Ignoring them. It is even worse than hearing a negative comment.

So, let’s go back to that choice of being present. Do you want higher quality results from your team? Your family, friends, or partner? Experiment with amping up your presence.

• Minimize notifications, close tabs, put your phone in a drawer – whatever is needed to help create a distraction-free zone.

• If you are in Zoom-land:

  • Minimize your view of yourself. Noticing how we look while we are talking or listening can sometimes take us into our own head and out of presence.   

  • Consider how you can encourage “camera-on” culture for your team if it’s not currently there.

• Can you give yourself a few moments in between meetings? Take a deep breath and set your intention before your next interaction. I particularly like Scott Crabtree’s take on the 4-6-8 Breath . It is a great tool that can help create space for presence.

• Notice and reflect. If you find yourself out of presence, ask when did I go away during that conversation?  What was happening? Look for patterns. The art of noticing followed by reflection is the best way to course correct and build those presence muscles.

• Remember progress and practice over perfection. Anytime you catch yourself drifting and choose to return to the present moment, that is not failing. It’s called learning and getting stronger.     

Managing our presence is a leadership paradox of sorts. A small act that costs nothing but can be worth everything. This holiday season, I challenge you to start small. Identify one meeting or interaction where you commit to being fully present. Notice what changes – for you and for others. Making an intentional choice with our presence is always an invitation that conveys attention and care. What kind of invitation will you extend today?

In June of this year I had a cancer scare. The ultrasound showed a 4.2 cm nodule on my thyroid. Gulp. That is big. Way TOO BIG! I felt scared and powerless - two words that are awful on their own and horrendous when put together. Thankfully, I was one of the lucky ones and got the results I longed to hear. Benign follicular nodule! I am beyond grateful.

There were 10 days in between the ultrasound, my biopsy, and getting the results. 10 long days of waiting and not knowing. 10 awful days of maybe.

Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe it won’t.

Do I have cancer? Maybe.

Will I be laughing about this one day with Jim…remember the time I had that cancer scare? Maybe.

Maybe sucks sometimes. It is also familiar. All of us have all lived in the land of maybe more than once. Organizational changes, loss of a job, a new manager, new job, new project, cancelled project, not to mention crazy world events…all of it drops us into temporary ambiguity about what’s next.

And so, today’s topic is dedicated to one strategy that surprised me in how well it helped me navigate the space of maybe. The inspiration comes from personal experience, but don’t worry, I’ve included some useful ways you can apply it to your world at work too. After all, the whole purpose of sharing these Occasional Musings is to spark a new thought or action that helps you strengthen (or start exercising) your leadership muscles. Consider this your cue to warm up and stretch - no need to risk an injury! This strategy takes some effort and energy, but the results worth it.

For many of us, heavy ambiguity equals threat. Our brains crave certainty and without it, fear can grip us. This reaction is rooted in our survival and can be very powerful. We fight, flee, or freeze because of that fear. Fear was behind me not telling anyone at first about my thyroid issues. It was my version of “freeze”. If I don’t say it out loud, I don’t have to look at it, and it will just go away. Temporary relief was all that strategy gave me by the way, and very temporary at that. All my fears simmered and eventually exploded back to the surface. It wasn’t pretty, just like that Yellowstone geyser.

Covered in the muck and debris of my fears getting the best of me, I decided to embrace a counter intuitive method I sometimes use with my coaching clients when they are overwhelmed with fears and can’t figure out a way to move forward. I call it catastrophe planning, but you may have also seen it referred to as inversion thinking. The exercise is rooted in the notion that the way to manage all those runaway fears is not to run. Instead, turn around and look at them. List them. Really map it out. Let yourself feel the feels, imagine the worst-case scenario to its conclusion, and ask yourself the big scary questions.

In my case, it meant asking questions like, what if I have cancer? What would treatment look like? How would it affect my family? My work? And the dooziest of doozys, what is my biggest fear here, for real?

As you start to explore your catastrophe scenarios, there is one thing I cannot emphasize enough: the value of this exercise is in the answering. Just listing your fears and big daunting questions is not enough. Answering them is what bears much needed fruit. Take proper time for this piece. My own results yielded some much-needed outcomes:  

• It helped confront and define my fears, making them less abstract and overwhelming.

• I now had a plan, plus contingency plans on top of those plans. All of this increased my sense of control.

• When I really looked at them, some of my worst-case scenarios weren’t as catastrophic as I imagined. Did you know thyroid cancer is often beatable and very survivable? I didn’t.

• A surge of creativity was an unexpected but welcome gift. It was triggered by looking at one of my biggest fears: Why am I here and what kind of mark do you want to leave? If the answer is to make a positive difference in this world, then I better get cracking. Whoosh! Fresh ideas about my life and business started to flow.

What could this process look like at work? The beauty of this strategy is that you’ve likely already done it before. Premortems are a prime example. When I was on the Overwatch team several years ago, way before the game was launched, the amazing Ray Gresko did his version of catastrophe planning with both the production and leadership teams. He made it fun and silly, pretending ‘future you’ was calling ‘present-day you’. Imagine a decrypted, craggily voice saying…

“Hey, it’s me, Future Julie. I’m broken and tired and our project failed. What went wrong? What mistakes were made? Tell me how this happened and save me!”

The result was a list of all the things the team could do NOW to avoid such a catastrophic ending. Inversion thinking at its best! The process identified obstacles, named the fears, and plans were built to ensure success. There was also the added bonus of the team feeling more control over its destiny. Establishing a sense of control, no matter how small, is one of the best ways to manage all those maybe-related fears.  

Let’s dig a little deeper. Below are some prompts you can experiment with and see how catastrophe planning can help you or your team.

Step 1: Pick your specific “maybe” and define the problem. In my case it was, what if I have cancer? In a team scenario it might be something like, what if we can’t figure out a way to come together as a team and ship this new feature that’s been promised?

Steps 2-5: Ask yourself and/or your team a series of questions.

• FEARS

  • Solo Exercise: What am I most afraid of regarding this situation and why?

  • Team Exercise: What are our biggest fears/concerns about this project/initiative and why?

• IDENTIFY FAILURES

  • Solo Exercise: What could cause my worst fears to come true?

  • Team Exercise: What would failure look like for us in this scenario? What would it look like if we failed completely?  

• LOOKING INWARD

  • Solo Exercise: What am I currently doing that might contribute to this negative outcome? What current habits, mindset, and actions might be counterproductive? How can I reverse these actions or behaviors to prevent the worst-case scenario?

  • Team Exercise: What specific actions, behaviors, or decisions could contribute to our failure? What are we currently doing that might be hindering our success? How might we prevent these failures from happening?

• LOOKING OUTWARD

  • Solo Exercise: Who can help me understand and address these fears?

  • Team Exercise: Who can we involve or consult to obtain different perspectives?

Step 5: Pause and Assess. It is worth taking a pause at this stage and quantify the risks to the extent that you can. For example, what is the likelihood of each scenario? Any metrics that we can track to help create an “early warning system” for ourselves?

Step 6: Identify Actions

• Solo Exercise: What small steps can I take now to feel more in control? What longer term plans would help my situation?

• Team Exercise: What small steps can we take now to improve our situation and move toward more successful outcomes? What longer term plans will help our success?

There you have it. I encourage you to experiment with this process in whatever way might serve you best. If you are feeling a little afraid to do so, good! That’s usually a clear sign that you should proceed. Feel the fear and do it anyway, my brave leader!

Also, I can’t help but throw out a challenge because there are especially big benefits of doing this exercise at work. The next time uncertainty looms in your project or company, gather your team for a catastrophe planning session. You might be surprised at the clarity and creativity that emerges from facing your fears together. Confronting our 'maybes' head-on can transform fears into fuel for growth, and that my friends, is often a catalyst for powerful break-through moments. And isn’t that what we are all chasing each day?

One last note. That oversized nodule on my thyroid hasn’t gone anywhere (yet) and this month there are more appointments to determine next steps to deal with it. My fears are still there, but I have names for them now and ‘maybe’ doesn’t seem so scary. I have a plan. I have support. And ultimately, I feel more in control thanks to some catastrophe planning.

Threes are everywhere. Or at least I’ve been seeing them everywhere the past few weeks. 3-point shots…March Madness was so fun to watch! 3 strikes and you are out. Welcome back, baseball. Three wishes. Three Musketeers. The Three Amigos. Three’s Company. The Rule of Three in design, storytelling, science, etc. Three Stooges. Ok, I’ll stop now. You get it. Threes are worth celebrating! And what a coincidence because Leadership Enthusiast turned 3 last week. Hooray! I feel quite proud when I look back at what I have created and what I am still creating.

Those two little words, “I am...”, carry a lot of weight. The weight of identity, purpose, intention, and action. After three years of running my own business with 1000+ hours of coaching, consulting, training, and facilitation to date, my “I am” gets stronger each day, along with my confidence to say it loud and proud.

I am an executive and leadership coach who helps people see themselves more clearly and make meaningful changes. I am a collaborator who helps individuals and teams accomplish their most important goals. I am nurturing a life that has balance and meaning which creates deeper “I am’s” that stretch way beyond work. I am an awesome teacher and facilitator of learning. Seriously, it’s a superpower and I feel most alive when I’m doing it. And above all, I am learning and unlearning constantly. For me, this is the “I am” that matters most. If it does for you too, this musing is for you.

What always hits home for me about the process of learning and unlearning is that it mostly boils down to editing. What stays and what gets cut? Where do I need to embrace new ideas and what habits, behaviors, mindsets do I need to let go of because they no longer serve me? Breathing in. Holding close new thoughts and ways of being. Big, long breath out to release those old thoughts and patterns of thinking.

If only it was that easy! Still, in whatever ways you are trying to improve, editing is how we grow.

Speaking of editing, words and language hold some of my greatest inspiration. Sometimes the right quote can move me to tears. Other times it can stop me in my tracks and trigger a new way of seeing. It never ceases to amaze me at how the different combination of just 26 letters can connect us and make us feel all the feels. Because of this, it felt fitting to celebrate Leadership Enthusiast’s third anniversary by sharing three of my favorite quotes that inspire me around the topic of learning, unlearning, and the challenge of editing.

Quote #1

The notion of editing as a way to learn and unlearn brought me memories of my dad’s nightstand when I was little. I flashed to a stack of paperback books by Louis L'amour. My dad loved them. He called them “cowboy logic” and for the longest time, I had no idea what he meant by that. Cut to some years ago when I came across this quote from The Walking Drum (altered slightly using ‘person’ instead of ‘man’ to modernize) and suddenly cowboy logic made a lot of sense: 

“Up to a point a person’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and changes in the world about them. Then there comes a time when it lies within their grasp to shape the clay of their life into the sort of thing they wish it to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune or the quirks of fate. Everyone has the power to say, "This I am today. That I shall be tomorrow. The wish, however, must be implemented by deeds.”

That last line…the wish must be implemented by deeds…still gets me today. And it was the gut punch (in a good way) that I needed at the time. Editing what we want to learn or unlearn is a combination of deeds. An amalgam of our daily choices and actions. Or put another way, you can’t just wish a new “I am” into existence. Action matters, however small they might be, as long as they are congruent with where you want to be.

Quote #2

One of the gurus that supports all of us in implementing our deeds is James Clear. His book, Atomic Habits is a must read. He too believes in editing as a means for growth.

"Mastery is not only about getting better at your craft, but also about finding ways to eliminate the obstacles, distractions, and other annoyances that prevent you from working on your craft.

Top performers find ways to spend as much time as possible on what matters and as little time as possible on what doesn't. It is not someone else's responsibility to create the conditions for success.

You have to actively work to eliminate the things that don't matter from your workload. If you haven't figured out how to do that, you haven't mastered your craft."

A lot of my coaching clients seek mastery of their craft while balancing heavy demands on their time and energy each day. It is challenging to say the least. During our coaching conversations, we talk about boundaries. We talk about saying no. We talk about honoring commitments made to oneself. Most importantly, we experiment with solutions and strategies, because I’m sorry to say, there is not one clean formula everyone can follow to become a good editor.

Let me offer a potential bright spot though. There is a big accelerator to successfully improving your editing skills: expand your self-awareness via reflection. Look at your actions and choices and reflect deeply on both the what and the why. For example, I was working with a leader, let’s call him Joe, who was trying to shift his ‘I am’ from “I am conflict avoidant” to “I am comfortable navigating conflict”. One of Joe’s reflection questions was, “What’s behind my avoidance?” It didn’t happen overnight, but powerful answers started to emerge after healthy reflection. The clarity that followed helped him identify, edit, and eventually embody new behaviors and choices. Success! Which brings us to the last quote in our trilogy.

Quote #3

You have seen this one before, but I don’t mind repeating something that is truly great. I mean, do you know how many times I’ve watched Aliens? Too many to count, and it NEVER, EVER gets old. I feel the same about this quote by Viktor Frankl:   

“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  

The way to capture space between stimulus and response is to notice. What does noticing look like? It is paying close attention to your behaviors, what’s happening for you internally, and acknowledging any impacts.

Let’s go back to Joe for a moment. Joe’s way of noticing was to quickly jot down notes anytime he faced conflict. Specifically, he kept a notepad nearby and scribbled notes about the situation, his behaviors, what he was feeling (sweaty palms, anxiousness, etc.), and the impact (to himself and others). After some time, important themes started showing up. Joe’s noticing helped him see things more clearly, especially how his mindset and assumptions were contributing to his avoidance. He was making the unconscious conscious, and that my friends, makes all the difference.

Another fun fact. Joe discovered that noticing alone gave way to a lot of self-correction. Viktor Frankl would be so happy.  Noticing offered Joe space for a different choice and now he is on the path to becoming a good editor. In previous musings I’ve referred to this process as a strategic pause. The pause fed Joe’s ability to edit and implement new deeds. One step at a time. Progress not perfection.

Ok, there you have it. I hope these quotes provide some inspo for your own learning, unlearning, and editing processes. What are the deeds you need to focus on? What areas in your life or work would benefit from more intentional noticing and what might you learn from that? What’s one area of life or work where you could experiment with some editing? Lots of questions here worthy of a good ponder. And I guarantee that your answers will lead to greater levels of fulfillment, a sense of accomplishment, and a host of “I am’s” that bring you deep satisfaction.    

I started working in the video game industry in 2008. It was love at first sight. Blizzard Entertainment was expanding their training and development department and among other things, they wanted me to help design and facilitate learning.  Immediately I was surrounded by smart, thoughtful, quirky, creative, passionate, determined people. They challenged me and made me better. Since starting my own training & development company a few years ago and working with lots of different game companies, I now know that amazing people and co-workers were not exclusive to Blizzard. The games space has been, and still is, full of extraordinary humans.

Because of this, I started and stopped writing this musing multiple times this past week. For those of you not working in the games industry, February has been a particularly brutal month with thousands of people having lost their jobs. It is the most layoffs I have ever seen at one time. How can I write about love at a time like this? Will some think me too ‘Pollyanna’? Shouldn’t I be writing about how to deal with anger or frustration? Why not write about resilience strategies or something else more practical? Insert a big, exasperated sigh and fear of judgement <here>.

But then I asked myself a crystallizing question. What do I what to put out into the world at this particular time? There was speed and conviction in my answer: I want to share and celebrate the good I see, despite (or in spite of) some of the darkness that surrounds it. I promptly let go of my hesitations. Love always wins after all, so let’s jump in…

Love is not a word we say a lot, if at all, when talking about work. Rightly so in many cases. Using the L-word or phrases like “we are a family” when it pertains to our jobs is problematic. Your employer is not your family and to expect a business, particularly a public organization, to operate as such is a mistake that can lead to unmet expectations and heavy disappointment among other things. Believe me! Love is also not a word we see when talking about layoffs, especially a seemingly endless stream of them. Scrolling LinkedIn continues to result in heartache for many of us. It can feel dark and hopeless thinking about the scale of it all and the impact on so many families, friends, and co-workers.

There is a time and place for all of that anger, sadness, and frustration. All of those feelings are important. And to be clear, this musing is not an attempt to get you to feel otherwise, especially if those emotions are strong for you right now. It’s just that over this past month, the very same LinkedIn “doom” scrolling showed me something else: LOVE.

To quote a personal rom-com favorite, Hugh Grant, “love actually is…all around”. Some examples:

• Former and current colleagues highlighting each other’s work and capabilities.

• Offers from strangers to help mentor or review resumes.

• Reposts and reshares touting the excellence of others, open roles, and other resources.

• Amir Satvat and his team of volunteers boosting various levels of support across the gaming community.

• Endless statements of care, virtual hugs, and offers of help.

• Previously laid off folks (still stinging and experiencing their own stresses) offering job search tips and ideas for self-care to those more recently affected by a layoff.

• Recruiters sharing vital information around how to navigate the current job market.

• People organizing meetups for connection and catharsis.

• Mental health resources are being elevated.

• Countless hits of the like, love, support, or celebrate emojis to increase visibility and the chances of matching job seekers with job hunters.

In this context, consider love as a verb: rooted in actions. Actions that demonstrate care, recognize contributions, and above all, communicate a message that a person (and what they do) matters. We are witnessing so many acts of love, both big and small. It is frackin’ beautiful! Seeing all these acts of love gives me great comfort. And, perhaps more importantly, they have given me (maybe us?) fuel. Energy. Strength. Courage. Community. That’s powerful and feels worth memorializing in this small way.  

So, for the few remaining moments of February 2024, I acknowledge and celebrate all the expressions of love that made their way to those that needed it, and even to those that didn’t. Thank you for the inspiration and for taking some of the sting out of what’s been happening. Thank you for showing up for each other in positive ways! Thank you for leading with love.

I subscribe to a lot of blogs and newsletters. Most of the topics are about leadership and coaching because I’m always searching for new tools, tricks and tips as a way to upgrade my “utility belt”. If you immediately pictured Batman, you are a kindred spirit.  And although I would totally rock a cape, I think it is important to say that I am not comparing myself to Batman whatsoever. That would be crazy! However, I have always liked the idea that a big source of Batman’s power comes from the constant evolution of his tool belt. He scans his environment and develops new skills and tools to meet the challenge at hand. Leadership Enthusiast will be three years old this year and it’s my responsibility (to myself and my clients) to keep upgrading and improving in the same way.

A lot of what I’ve been reading is related to reflection and goal setting, it is that time of year after all. An intriguing idea in one of those blog posts was the argument to throw out your new year’s resolutions and replace them with Chris Brogan’s three words exercise. I encourage you to click on the link as it explains everything in more detail and frankly is just a short, fun read.

The process involves choosing three words that serve as your guideposts all year long. What’s critically important about selecting your three words is that they help you make choices that align with the changes you want to make. Since most new goals or aspirations involve creating new habits or breaking bad ones, the idea of capturing a few words that could help me make different choices seemed like a cool experiment worth trying and sharing. After taking some time to define my 2024 goals last week, I took the extra step of deciding on my three words:

ACT. This is my reminder that momentum is more important than motivation. Taking action is what matters instead of waiting until I feel like doing something.  Just Do It as Nike says.  How I feel is not relevant. It is what I do that matters and progress is always in the doing.

CURIOSITY. I wrote a bit about the power of curiosity in my last musing. Being curious is one of my most powerful tools when coaching and facilitating because it brings deeper levels of understanding. This word will help me continue to ask, listen, test my assumptions, and help my clients do the same. No good comes from treating assumptions as facts.

INTENTIONALITY. Operating with intention and a clear vision of what truly matters is a huge aspect of accomplishing our goals. It is also a hallmark of every great leader. This word will help me crystallize what I say yes to, and more importantly sometimes, what I need to say no to. Intentionality will sharpen choices around streamlining where it’s needed because more space is really what I am after. Space to think, create, and nourish the areas of my business that gets me closer to my goals. 

So, there you have it. My three words for 2024, now neatly printed on a pink post-it note and lovingly placed at the bottom of my computer screen for me to read everyday. There is also the added bonus of my very own blog post to help with accountability. It was a useful, and dare I say, fun exercise that helped me enter this new year with a greater sense of clarity and purpose. I hope it does the same for you.

Now get after it!

Hello friends! I had great intentions of posting more regularly this year and then work got very busy. The rewarding kind of busy where I feel like I’m doing meaningful work that makes a positive difference for people. I’m beyond grateful for it. The only downside is that there has been little room for writing, which I’ve really missed. There’s something super powerful about starting with a blank page and ending with a little piece of yourself exposed for others to see, judge, love, or criticize. So let’s jump in cannonball-style!

Today’s musing falls under the header of STUCK.

It's kind of a funny word...stuck. It rhymes with muck, suck, and a favorite curse word.  These words often make an appearance when the leaders and teams that I work with are sharing the various ways ‘stuck’ makes them feel. And for a variety of reasons lately, some of them are reporting increased feelings of ‘stuckness’. Synonyms include wedged, jammed, trapped, and caught, but I probably don’t have to tell you that. You’ve been there. Or you are there right now in some way shape or form.

When we feel stuck, we rarely show up as our best selves. We make choices to react in a certain way. To pivot or stay the course. To say the wrong thing or sometimes not say anything at all. What’s universal about the experience of ‘stuck’ is that those choices are often enveloped in a sea of unconscious habits and engrained patterns of thinking.

So, let’s explore a few ways to tackle the challenge of getting, or at least feeling, unstuck. I should note that these tools are rooted in self-awareness and self-management. Two skills that are essential for the job of developing as a better leader and teammate. Luckily, they are also particularly helpful for the task of feeling less stuck.

To start, I want you to think about a situation where you feel either a little or a lot stuck. Something isn’t going the way you want it to. Maybe it’s a co-worker with a challenging personality. Maybe your team keeps running into the same issues repeatedly. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s an instance where you are committed to changing the way you have been addressing it up to this point. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is not an option here.

As you think about your own example, consider that when we are in the thick of ‘stuck’ we meet the world with one of four lenses: curiosity, fear, judgement, and compassion. It is interesting to note that anger is not among the four lenses because it is often an expression of fear. Also, judgement can take two forms. Judgement of others as in, “What the hell is he thinking?” or judgement of self as in, “what’s wrong with me?”. Compassion is the practice of building your empathy and understanding for something or someone. And curiosity is deep inquiry for the sake of gaining knowledge and broadening perspective.

With these four lenses in mind, next comes some introspection. Don’t rush your answers here. Take your time and really think about the following questions:

• Which of the 4 lenses is your normal default?

• How does that lens change when you are under stress?

• Which lens are you using right now with respect to your stuck situation?

• Which lens might better serve you and why?

• What do you need to do differently in order to access a different lens?

All of these questions are designed to create a pause and amplify your own self-awareness. The power of the pause is in the space that it creates. And that space is what’s needed to make a different choice. Without it you might default to whatever knee-jerk, unconscious habits might be dictating your behavior up to this point.

One of my favorite quotes that helps me pause and choose differently, especially when I am feeling stuck.

The result of your reflection will likely suggest that either curiosity or compassion (or a combination of the two) is what will better serve you right now. For example, if you choose the lens of compassion, you listen more intently with the goal of understanding vs being understood and this leads to new insights.  Or if you decide that more curiosity is required, you may find yourself asking more questions and learning more about the situation. This new awareness brings in new possibilities from different angles. A bonus takeaway is the realization that when you are truly and genuinely in the mode of curiosity, it makes judgement virtually impossible.

Over time, little by little, you start to notice a shift. Some slight movement. Hooray, I say!  Because these small shifts create needed momentum to continue the work you started. Something else to celebrate is the idea that a change in your own thinking – how you see and experience whatever has been your source of stuck – can sometimes be more impactful than solving the problem itself. I’m not saying that a good solution to the problem is not important. Obviously, that matters too. But part of the path to feeling unstuck is to focus on the things you can control, namely how you think and behave.

Another opportunity for you to create more space (and make different choices) comes from a talk I saw Arawana Hayashi give earlier this year at the Hudson Coaching Conference. She said something powerful that unlocked how I thought about being stuck in the first place: Flow is overrated. Stuck is an innovative process. The next question she posed is a doozy and one I’ll ask you to noodle on. If you were to lean into the idea that stuck is an innovative process, what might shift for you?  

Now, as you reflect back on your challenging situation, don’t let comfort be your guide. What do you notice? Any new ideas you can experiment with? My biggest hope is that this musing created a small spark of motivation to take a different approach to your current ‘sticky’ moment.

One last thing, it is ok and courageous and brave to ask for help.  Few things are worse than feeling stuck and alone. Reach out to trusted colleagues. Confide in people that care about you. Find a professional coach <insert shameless plug here>. Brainstorm ideas with your manager. And above all, tap into the wisdom that is around you with compassion and curiosity. You might be surprised at how many different solutions present themselves.

P.S. The four lenses came to me by way of Penny Handscomb, an amazing Master Coach who works with The Hudson Institute of Coaching. She shared that it came to her via Robin and Joan Shohet - both leaders in Coaching supervision space.

GBBS is streaming now on Netflix.

Hello friends. It’s been a while since I’ve added a new “musing”.  Five whole months to be exact and I’ve missed you! 

Work was busy and rewarding this past year and I’m full of gratitude about that.  I also earned an executive coaching certification via the esteemed Hudson Institute.  I started in April and finished in December feeling very proud.  When all was said and done, I ended up reading 12 books on the practice of coaching, completed over 50+ hours of coaching with several new clients, attended ~100 hours of various training and instruction, and received LOTS of feedback on my coaching style.  Cue one of the greatest 80’s training montages HERE.  Bonus points and my eternal admiration if you already guessed Rocky III. 

The whole experience was both exhilarating and exhausting.  What helped me get through were the extraordinary humans that I was blessed to meet. Individuals from all walks of life who are dedicated to self-discovery and improvement. Caring people who want nothing more than to help others realize their personal goals and aspirations. It was one of the single greatest learning experiences of my life. I am a better coach, leader, partner, wife, and friend as a result. All of this inspires me to want to share some of the wisdom, tools, and strategies with all of you so get ready.  More “occasional musings” are coming your way this year – all with the goal of offering ideas and inspiration to help increase your impact as a leader and teammate.   

But first, since my last musing was all about salt, I think it is high time for some sugar! One of my favorite shows on Netflix is The Great British Baking Show.  They launched a new season late last year. Such a happy day! I am forever riveted by the display of creativity, passion, and craftsmanship…and I don’t even bake.  The fact that behind each cake, biscuit, muffin, and loaf of bread are hours of practice, unfortunate failures, and epic levels of learning is a constant source of amazement to me.

So, I thought it would be fun to share a half dozen leadership lessons that I was reminded of when watching the latest season. If you have smiled every time Mary Berry delighted in taking a bite while calling it “scrummy” (short for scrumptious) or giggled each moment Mel and Sue counted down “On your marks…Get Set…Bake!”, this musing is for you. 

1. Set the scary challenge. Judges Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood (and his fierce blue eyes) challenge the bakers each week with tests of skills and creativity. Some bakers excel. Some fail. Whatever the outcome, the bakers also improve! How are you helping the people on your team get better? What healthy challenges – that stretch their abilities or help build their confidence – could you put in front of them right now? 

2. The right casting is a big part of healthy team culture.  GBBS is a competition show. Each week someone wins “Star Baker” and someone else is sent home.  With such high stakes, why is everyone so nice to each other? The short answer is because the show’s producers are hiring (selecting) for both skillful bakers AND niceness. They clearly prioritize attributes like teamwork, empathy, and genuine caring when casting each season. The outcome of such focus?  People who consistently bring positivity to their environment. We see contestants regularly hug, help out when someone is in trouble, and applaud their competitors’ accomplishments. In contrast, other competition shows select for drama, anger, and generally low EQ.  It a good reminder that you get what you hire for.  Clarify what attributes and abilities will bring GBBS energy to your team/company and do your damn-dest (it’s a word!) to not compromise your “casting” decisions.

3. High standards and feedback with heart. GBBS shows us that leaders can hold people accountable to exacting standards without being a jerk. The key is being clear about what you expect, sharing how you will “judge” performance, and most importantly stating your intent. Every contestant knows what they need to deliver (except for the technical challenge, but we’ll get to that in a moment), the time constraints, and that they’ll get specific feedback on the result. It’s this combination of factors that helps them improve their skills. You can do the same for your people.  Does each person on your team know what’s specifically expected of them?  Have you stated your intentions around giving feedback (ideally emphasizing that it is because you care about them)?  Do they understand how their performance will be assessed? If you can’t answer a definitive ‘yes’ to these questions, make a plan to change that. 

4. Not enough direction can create a big mess. GBBS technical challenges can be entertaining to watch. Critical details such as baking time and what the end result should look like are purposely withheld.  Despite such minimal direction, the bakers are expected to produce a high-quality product anyway. The result is a segment full of guesswork and intense self-doubt.

   What’s the lesson here? Too little direction, especially when someone needs it most, is an example of leadership neglect.  So, while it is slightly amusing to watch people struggle, it is also a strong reminder of what NOT to do when you are in a leadership role. Don’t leave the potential of a great bake up to chance.  Don’t be vague about what ‘good’ looks like. Don’t skip important parameters that can help your people feel supported. In short, do not be a neglectful manager.

5. What’s your equivalent to a Paul Hollywood handshake?  The opposite of neglect is preservation. The GBBS world is full of praise and kudos that is given warmly and without reservation. Peer to peer, judge to contestants, and everything in between. That level of attention – of simply noticing the good work others are doing (and saying so) – should be the baseline of what to expect at work. A baseline that you, dear leaders, set the tone for.

   At the same time, while consistent praise is important and good, a Paul Hollywood handshake is different. It is given when a baker has delivered something exceptional in terms of their effort, creativity, and quality. The handshake represents a special and unique achievement. Consider what that could look like in your world, and you aren’t allowed to respond with “more money”.  For the purposes of this thought exercise, really think about actions, curated moments, or other recognition ideas that would be most meaningful to your team members. Yes, it might be different from person to person but don’t let that deter you. Experiment! Or when in doubt, ask your people what type of “handshake” would mean the most to them.

6. Orchestrate respectful endings when you can. I think we can learn a thing or two from GBBS about goodbyes. They include thank you’s, handshakes, and hugs, all while they are essentially “firing” a person for deficient performance. This leadership lesson seems particularly important right now because as I write this, my LinkedIn feed is overwhelmed with layoff news. I’m sure yours is too.

   As a leader, one of the hardest decisions to make is saying good-bye to one of your employees. Yet once you make your decision around what needs to happen, take a cue from GBBS and give equal consideration to how it needs to happen. Can you design a proper farewell that demonstrates respect to both the person leaving and their teammates? By proper farewell, I mean an ending that at a minimum, recognizes effort and says thank you.

   Now I’m not so naïve to believe this kind of good-bye is possible in all real work scenarios. I know there are circumstances where it isn’t or shouldn’t be the case. However, I am suggesting that GBBS offers inspiration for how we might consider and incorporate more respectful endings, especially when the conditions allow for it.

There we have it.  A few ideas for you to noodle on. Which of these lessons is one of your strengths?  Which one needs more attention from you? What leadership lessons did I miss or get wrong?  Drop a note and let me know. Talking about these ideas is one of my favorite ways to “bake”. 😊      

A while back, I read an article talking about the growth of LowSodium subreddits.  New spaces have emerged where gaming communities engage in debate and discussion with positivity and optimism (vs negative toxicity).  With all the maddening things happening in our world right now, I can see why it is a growing trend. 

For my friends outside of the gaming space, the use of the term sodium or salty in this context means being bitter towards something or someone.  Other synonyms include angry, agitated, annoyed, or upset.  Used in a sentence, “I got more than a little salty when I heard there might be a re-make of The Breakfast Club”.  I mean, the nerve! 

The article got me thinking…what would a low sodium leader look like? If you immediately pictured Ted Lasso, you are a kindred spirit because I did as well.  He’s definitely an inspiration.  But I think pointing to Ted Lasso is way too easy.  What might a low sodium leader look like, really?  Especially for leaders operating in our post-Covid world and doing the hard work of creating something new, re-building or repairing a team, or just managing through difficult circumstances.  A few ideas immediately jumped out at me.

First, what you appreciate, appreciates.  This quote left a big impression on me when I first heard it. We have all worked with someone who is too heavy with the saltshaker.  They over index on the negative without enough attention and care to the things that are going right. Over time that kind of chronic saltiness becomes very corrosive.  Anyone who has lived near the ocean knows this phenomenon – the salty air rusts your paint and does terrible things to your pantry items.  Stale chips, crackers, bread, and cereal…the horror!  The same thing happens in the work environment.  Too little acknowledgement of the good stuff corrodes the collective energy of your team, eats away at the culture, and eventually does the same to you.

The bigger takeaway here is that as a manager and leader, what you actively choose to acknowledge and recognize grows in its value.  I think a low sodium leader operates with this understanding.  They look for what’s going right and actively seek to recognize good work when they see it.  Plus, they get a nice side benefit with this kind of focus because when good work is noticed, it gets repeated. 

At the same time, low sodium leadership does not mean no sodium.  You also have to acknowledge bad behavior when you see it.  Allowing bad, or even mediocre behavior or results to consistently happen is the same as pouring salt all over the dining table.  You ruin the meal for everyone. 

Let’s take that thought one step further.  For me, one of the greatest signs of respect for someone is to be straight with them.  It is disrespectful not to be honest with someone, particularly if they are missing the mark.  As the insightful Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.  Unclear is unkind.”  Giving clear, consistent, honest feedback is how a leader demonstrates respect for their people.  Low sodium leaders know you create a salty mess without it. 

For those of you that have read the book, Radical Candor, what I’m talking about is akin to what Kim Scott calls, compassionate candor – the intersection between caring personally AND challenging directly.  I purposely emphasized the “and” of that sentence, by the way.  Constructive feedback does not mean negative, salty feedback.  I firmly believe you can give direct feedback to people without sacrificing care and heart.  The ability to provide effective feedback, both constructive and developmental, is a hallmark of a low sodium leader.

Operating in this way takes some courage of course, which is another marker of low sodium leadership.  Courage to say what needs to be said, not just what people want to hear.  Low sodium leaders feel the fear – of their own discomfort, of not being liked, being wrong, etc. – and do it anyway. 

Another element of low sodium leadership lies in awareness and attentiveness.   The ability to recognize good or bad performance and offer feedback ultimately rests on the notion that you are paying attention in the first place.  It’s hard to offer a legitimate and balanced perspective or give effective feedback if you haven’t been attentive to what your people are doing. 

So, what does good, honest attention look like, especially as many of us are still working remotely and managing our teams through the 2D of Zoom?  The biggest bang for your buck here is consistent 1:1’s.  On second thought, I take that back.  Just having consistent 1:1’s is not enough.  It’s the quality of conversations within those 1:1’s that matters most.  They need to be meaningful.  And if you don’t know what would make your 1:1’s more meaningful for your people, ask them. 

Which brings us to another key component of low sodium leadership: you don’t learn very much by talking.  You learn by listening.  IMHO, the measure of effectiveness, especially the higher you move up the proverbial corporate ladder, lies in asking the right questions instead of having the right answers.

A final ingredient to low-salt leadership lies in how you talk about other people, peers, departments, and competitors when they are not there.  What you say, how you say it, and who you say it to matters a lot, especially when things aren’t going well.  Nothing kills trust and a sense of safety faster than leaders who talk poorly behind others’ backs and don’t engage in constructive, solution-focused discussions.  It’s the worst kind of chronic saltiness.  Low sodium leaders share their frustrations in the right places. And most of all, they are mindful about how their words and actions shape and influence those around them. 

All of this salty content has me craving something sweet, which leads me to one final thought: you usually get more with sugar than with salt.  The ultimate hallmark of a low sodium leader is kindness, empathy, and genuine care – for your products AND the people who help make them.  I hope this little musing inspires you to add some more “sugar” to your leadership habits.  Shoot me a note with things you might add (or disagree with) and let me know what results you get.